foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize