so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
