Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
