i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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