Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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