1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
