to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
