I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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