eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
