a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
