Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
