Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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