The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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