at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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