got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
