"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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