this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
