Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
birth control should be required to get into college
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
