is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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