I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
