So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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