this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
