Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
