I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This girl is more easily done than said...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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