You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
