think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize