remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
