just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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