so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
