Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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