i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
