Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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