Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
