I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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