fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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