She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
