you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
