I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
