so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
