The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
