Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
