Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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