Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
