She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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