I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
