don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
