I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
