I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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