YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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