try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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