Christians are straight up FREAKS
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
