I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize