They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
