This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize