I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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