I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
