I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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