i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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