brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
