i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
