You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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