Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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