you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
