It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize