some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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